Funny Inspirational Sayings and Quotes
Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorousold funny inspirational quotes, funny inspirational sayings, and funny inspirational proverbs, collected over the years from a varietyof sources.
Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you're alive it isn't.Richard Bach
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.Betty Reese
My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything – even if you have no clue what you're doing.Jessica Alba
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.Charles Schulz
I believe that ifÂlifeÂgives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.Ron White
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.Thomas Eddison
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.Mark Twain
When I hear someone sigh that life is hard, I am tempted to ask, ‘compared to what?'Sydney Harris
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.ÂElbert Hubbard
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.ÂW. H. Auden
Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address.Thomas Abreu
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.Robert Frost
Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.Dwight Eisenhower
Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.Alexander Woollcott
The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill.W. Clement Stone
Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.Ellen DeGeneres
We can see a thousand miracles around us every day. What is more supernatural than an egg yolk turning into a chicken?Rutherford Platt
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.Joe Girard
I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.Groucho Marx
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money?Ogden Nash
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing – that's why we recommend it daily.Zig Ziglar
There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.Jeph Jacques
Just having knowledge is like having a bunch of things in the attic – sure you'll use it someday but in the meantime it just clogs up space!Dasrim Hasik
When you give food to the poor, they call you a saint. When you ask why the poor have no food, they call you a communist.Archbishop Helder Camara
The poor object to being governed badly, while the rich object to being governed at all.G. K. Chesterton
I know we're meant to be these hard-headed, money-obsessed professionals but we're still little boys at heart. Just ask our wives.Rob Lee
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.Helen Rowland
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.Mark Twain
It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.Terry Pratchett
Don't try to make life a mathematics problem with yourself in the center and everything coming out equal. When you're good, bad things can still happen. And if you're bad, you can still be lucky.Barbara Kingsolver
Heap on more wood! - the wind is chill; / But let it whistle as it will, / We'll keep our Christmas merry still.Sir Walter Scott
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.Demetri Martin
Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren't very new at all.Abraham Lincoln
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.Andrew Jackson
If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.Calvin Coolidge
It's funny the way most people love the dead. You have to die before they think you are worth anything. Once you are dead, you are made for life. When I die, just keep on playing the records.Jimi Hendrix
I believe in standardizing automobiles. I do not believe in standardizing human beings.Albert Einstein
I want you to be concerned about your next-door neighbor. Do you know your next-door neighbor?Mother Teresa
An Englishman thinks seated; a Frenchman, standing; an American, pacing; an Irishman, afterward.Austin O'Malley
When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships.Andy Warhol
Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.Adlai E. Stevenson
I have been described as a lighthouse in the middle of a bog: brilliant but useless.Conor Cruise O'Brien
Laughter is the true brotherhood of man. At some time or another we've all done something that could be laughed at. Anyone who claims he hasn't is the most laughable of all.Gene Perret
He who is silent and bows his head dies every time he does so. He who speaks aloud and walks with his head held high dies only once.Giovanni Falcone
You know my feelings: Every day is a gift. It's just ... does it have to be a pair of socks?Anthony "Tony" Soprano Sr.