90 Funny Inspirational Quotes Worth Using In The Office (2024)

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“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” — Dave Barry

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“I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road.” — Stephen Hawking

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“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” — Katharine Hepburn

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“Whatever you do, always give 100% — unless you’re donating blood.” — Bill Murray

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“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

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“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” – Steven Wright

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“A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.” — Graham Norton

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“Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.” – Mark Twain

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“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” – Oscar Wilde

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“Bad decisions make good stories.” — Ellis Vidler

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“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” — Douglas Adams

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“When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” — Theodore Roosevelt

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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” — Drew Carey

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“A true friend is someone that thinks you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” — Bernard Meltzer

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“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers

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“And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” – Confucius

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“The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!” — Marvin Phillips

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“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment.” — Robert Benchley

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“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one!” — C.S. Lewis

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“I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.” – H. Kyle Seale

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“A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” — Mark Twain

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“The road to success is always under construction.” — Lily Tomlin

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“Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.” — Katharine Whitehorn

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“A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have.” — Roger Rabbit, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

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“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” — Mae West

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“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. A. Milne

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“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.” — Mae West

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“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby — awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” — Lemony Snicket

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“Be happy, it drives people crazy.” — Paulo Coelho

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“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, ‘I’m not going to make it’, but you laugh inside remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.” — Charles Bukowski

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“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” — Steven Wright

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“I’m an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.” – Harold Wilson

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“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.” – Stephen Hawking

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“You want to get out of the hole? First you’re going to have to put down the shovel.”

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“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire

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“To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” — Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

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“Fate is just what you call it when you don’t know the name of the person screwing you over.” — Lois, Malcolm in the Middle

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“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” — Linda Grayson

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“It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.” — Benjamin Dover

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“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” – Dale Carnegie

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“Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.” — Terry Pratchett

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“No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx

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“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain

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“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” — Terry Pratchett

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“Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.” — Tina Fey

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“I love a good nap. Sometimes it’s the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.” — George Costanza, Seinfeld

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“Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” — Richard Jeni

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“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.” — Richard Lewis

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“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” – Winnie the Pooh

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“Do or do not. There is no try. “ — Yoda

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“See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly.” — George Harris

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“I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” — Van Wilder, National Lampoon’s Van Wilder

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“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams

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“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself.” — Ethel Barrymore

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“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” – Don Marquis

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“Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat.” — Harry Emerson Fosdick

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“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edward Bergen

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“My favorite thing to do on this planet is to play games. And if you don’t enjoy games, then you’re really missing the point of what this life is.” — RuPaul

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“I would do anything for my friends, which I think is how everyone in the world feels. Which is why I finally understand war.” — Jeff Winger, Community

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“Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” — Franklin P. Jones

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“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude MacDonald

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“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life.” — Andy Dwyer, Parks and Recreation

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“If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” — Elvis Presley

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“Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished — If you’re alive it isn’t.” — Richard Bach

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“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.”– Milton Berle

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“Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine.” — Lord Byron

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“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold

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“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard

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“We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third.” — Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation

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“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin

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“Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” – Will Rogers

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“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day.” — Robert Frost

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“Be like a postage stamp; stick to one thing until you get there.” — Josh Billings

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“Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise, we’re going down the tube.” — Joan Rivers

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“I’m a bit of a sucker for second chances. They’re my first favorite kind of chance.” — Jessica Day, New Girl

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“We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.” — William Somerset Maugham

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“Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” — Robert Brault

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“It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to the friendship that we are not.” — Mignon McLaughlin

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“The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.” — Blaise Pascal

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“Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.” – Niels Bohr

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“Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still.” – Chinese Proverb

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“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright

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“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?'” — Sydney J. Harris

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“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” — Carroll Bryant

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“Aspire to inspire before we expire.” — Eugene Bell Jr.

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“Life is just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews!” — Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants

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“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” – Michael Altshuler

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“You can if you think you can.” – George Reeves

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“Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” — Kyle Chandler

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“I cannot afford to waste my time making money.” — Louis Agassiz

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Author, BoredPanda staff

Eligijus is a SEO listicles curator. Eligijus is trying to give his time to make best content for readers. Also Eligijus likes to play sports like karate and play guitar.

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Writer, Community member

Džiugas Ožekauskas is a SEO copywriter at Bored Panda with BA in Sales and Marketing. In his free time, he watches movies and TV shows (with True Detective being his favorite), goes on a hike, or simply procrastinates at home.

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