If there’s anything we wish we could control, it’s the weather isn’t it? Don’t want to walk in sloshy shoes? Snap your fingers so the sun comes out. Don’t want to be hot and sweaty? A snap of your fingers and snow falls. As great as that would be, it’s impossible. Which is why puns and jokes are sure to cheer you up no matter the weather, and boy have we got a sunny punny list for you!
Did you know that all the way back in 2003, a heatwave across Europe was so strong it dried grapes out into raisins even before they were picked from the vine? Just imagine how many raisin recipes people suddenly had to come up with.
On the flipside, just two years before that in 2001 on the other side of the globe, a southern state in India called Kerala started to freakishly rain “blood”! It wasn’t really blood of course, but water dyed red from some airborne spores that came down for three days and three nights.
But every cloud has a silver lining, don’t fret if your plans have been ruined because of the weather. It’s unpredictable as ever and it’s going to stay that way. So just kick back, relax, and have a good laugh with our collection of weather puns, jokes and one liners.
- Sweat-ther – Weather so hot it makes people perspire.
- Where-ther – Invisible weather.
- Wear-duhh – Stupid weather.
- Swear-ther-Bad weather that makes people cuss.
- Hair-ther– Hairy weather.
Sun Puns
- Genghis Sun – Happy cousin of Genghis Khan
- Bunshine– The type of weather bakers like.
- Funshine– Playing in the sun.
- Funk-shine – Funky sunshine.
- Hun-shine– What suns call their significant other.
- Nunshine– When Sister Agnes is glowing.
- Punshine– When a pun really brightens up your day.
- Sum-shine– Math teachers favorite weather.
- Shun-shine – Allergic to the sun.
- Shun-shine – Sunshine with a lisp.
- Sun-swine – Pigs in the sun.
- Sunday – Best day for fun on the beach
- Sunglasses – Glasses that the sun wears.
- Sundae – Sun’s favorite dessert.
- Sunbathe – What the sun does when it’s feeling dirty.
- Sunsational – Fun in the sun.
- Suntimental – When you miss sunny days.
- Luke! You are my sun.
- Suntimes you win, suntimes you lose.
- Sunthing’s are better left alone.
Rain Puns
- B-rain– Brains falling from the sky.
- Candy C-rain– A cloud’s favourite treat.
- Grayn – A dull monotone drizzle.
- Rain-sins – – dried grapes falling from the sky.
- Mund-rain (Mundane) – Boring rain.
- Painy Weather– Weather that hurts.
- Trainy Weather– When the cold weather makes you go a-choo-choo!
- Uk-rain– The rainiest country in the world.
- Fo Drizzle– Snoop Dogg’s favourite weather.
- Lemon Drizzle – Rain’s favourite cake.
- Drizzly Bear – A bear who loves light rain.
- Frizzle– When the light rain makes your hair curl wildly.
- Rain “The Rock” Johnson– Every cloud’s favourite actor.
- Raphael Va-rain– Every cloud’s favourite footballer.
- Please t-rain your dogs well so they don’t bark at the sky.
- The rain of Queen Elizabeth II.
- Her actions went against the g-rain.
Gloom and Storm Puns
- Glue-my– When the weather’s a little sticky.
- Gloom-ami– When the dark clouds taste a little savoury.
- Gloom-eboshi– Japanese pickled plum clouds.
- George Gloomy– Every cloud’s favourite actor.
- A storm welcome– Thunderous applause.
- Stormeranian– A very angry grey cloud puppy.
- Stormputer – Cloud technology.
- Stormplicated – When two clouds interfere with each other’s businesses.
- Transtorm– When storms become something deadlier.
- Squall-rell – When two clouds argue.
- You never stormy (saw me) coming.
- Stormp your feet to the beat.
- Well cloudy, pardner!
- Oh no! We’re gloomed!
- Oh my gloomness!
Cloud Puns
- Cloud Debussy – Every cloud’s favourite classical composer.
- Clouda– Fluffy sky cheese
- Cloudspeaker – What clouds use to hear their music really cloud!
- Cloudmouth – Clouds that talk non-stop … loudly!
- Cloud computing – A bunch of clouds using computers.
- Cloud storage – Where clouds keep their stuff.
- Cloud Nine – Cloud just before Cloud Ten.
- Cloud Explosion -When clouds collide.
- Cloudburst – When a cloud bursts.
- Cloudburst – When a cloud gets angry.
- Cloudy TT– Sports cars for clouds.
- Cloudy Arabia– The cloudiest country in the middle east.
- Clout – Cloud with a lot of social media influence.
- Don’t be so cirrus.
- Weather is a cirrus matter.
- Are you cirrus-ly going to leave?
- What’s the stratus?
Lightning and Thunder Puns
- Thunder-pants – Underwear for storm clouds.
- Lightning storms can be very striking.
- There was a thunder-ous applause at the recital.
- The cloud thunder-went a major surgery.
- Cloud games are thunder-way.
- The cloud gang operated thunder-ground.
- Cloud puns are really en-lightning.
- Perhaps I can shed some lightning on the matter.
Q: What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
A: You might step in a poodle!
Q: Can bees fly in the rain?
A: Not without their yellow jackets.
Q: What did the clouds get as a consolation prize?
A: A certificate of precipitation.
Q: Why did the cloud stay at home?
A: It was feeling under the weather.
Q: What type of sense of humor does a dust storm have?
A: A very dry one.
Q: How do you find out the weather when you’re on vacation?
A: Go outside and look up.
Q: What’s the difference between weather and climate?
A: You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.
Q: What do rain and Humpty Dumpty have in common?
A: They fall.
Q: Why does My Chemical Romance hate clouds?
A: They keep raining on their Black Parade.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back.
Q: What do you call a Hannah Montana cloud?
A: Miley Cirrus
Q: What do you call a kidney doctor who can also predict the weather?
A: A meaty-urologist.
Q: When it rains chickens and ducks?
A: You could say it’s Fowl weather.
Q: What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A: A rain of terror!
- Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night? They were in tents.
- Do you know what happened to the man who reported on dangerous weather, but his reports started to tell people to farm? His warnings went amish.
- When it rains chickens and ducks, you could say it’s fowl weather.
- My wife filed for divorce because I am a weather reporter. That was not what I predicted.
- We went for a hike at the weekend, despite the blustery conditions , and despite taking 2 steps forward then 3 steps back we battled against the weather quite well. Then it happened, from nowhere came down the sandwiches, sausage rolls, scotch eggs quiche and Vol-au-vent and then I realised we was being buffetted by the wind.
- I used to be a fortune teller. I was pretty bad. I could only fortell bad weather. Turns out the shop sold me a snow globe instead of a crystal ball.
- Since this bad weather started, my wife hasn’t stopped staring through the patio windows. If it gets any worse, I might have to let her in.
- Todays weather forecast…
S
O
e
S
H
W R
Scattered showers. - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Emma.
Emma who?
Emma bit cold out here – can you let me in? - I asked my friend who was an activist why they were so anxious. She replied, “I’m going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It’s a very heated topic.”
- I asked my Mexican friend if he knew the weather forecast. He said, “Ya man, it’s gonna be chili today and hot tamale”.
- A man walked into town with only one boot. It took a while for him to notice that people were looking at him weirdly. When he met his friend, his friend asked, “Hey man, why are you only wearing one boot?”
- The man answered simple, “Because I heard there’d be 50% chance of snow duh!”
- Two battleships were out at sea during heavy weather for several days.The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, “Light, bearing on the starboard bow.”
“Is it steady or moving astern?” the captain called out.Lookout replied, “Steady, captain.”
The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.”Back came a signal, “Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.”
The captain said, “Send, I’m a captain, change course 20 degrees.”
“I’m a seaman second class,” came the reply. “You had better change course 20 degrees.”
By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send, I’m a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.”
Back came the flashing light, “I’m a lighthouse.”
- Engineers were preparing to build a highway in the middle of the Amazon forest when a native rocked up and told them to seek shelter because there would be heavy rain in 2 hours. The engineers looked up at the clear sky, didn’t heed the man’s prediction and continued with their work. In exactly 2 hours it poured heavily. The following day the native showed up again and told them not to worry it would be sunny for 4 days Sure enough it was sunny the entire 4 days. On the 5th day he showed up again in the morning and told them it would be too hot to work in the afternoon. It did get too hot in the afternoon. The following day the lead engineer dispatched a few of his juniors to seek the wise native, gift him some cash and ask for his prediction of the weather. They found the man in his homestead, he accepted the gift and gave them his prediction. This carried on for 3 months whilst the engineers worked to setup the highway.
One morning, as had become their routine the junior engineers went to seek the wise native with their daily cash gift to enquire about the day’s weather. After accepting the cash the wise man had bad news. “my radio ran out of batteries last night so I didn’t listen to the weather forecast unfortunately I can’t help you today.”
